Self Care for the Wife Who’s Marriage has been Rocked
My husband and I have been married for almost 7 years. In that time, we have seen my eldest graduate from high school, had two babies, moved and he fought and beat cancer twice. We have had a lot on our plates and as a homeschooling mom, I wear a lot of hats.
Self care is not something that has exactly been on top of my to do list. Try as I might, other things take precedence and as wives, we allow ourselves to get pushed further and further down the list of things to take care of. This has left me ignoring what my needs are and handling business as usual.
However, business as usual stopped when my husband confessed to me that he was dealing with a pornography addiction. And had been for years. It rocked me to my core. A husband’s struggle with pornography can be a devastating thing to deal with in a marriage. It was for us. I was angry, felt betrayed and could feel myself becoming more withdrawn.
Since I have struggled with depression in the past, I knew that I had to do something. I didn’t want it to get to the point where I felt like I couldn’t do anything. That wouldn’t have been good for anyone. A wife should always try to take the necessary time to make sure that she is taking care of herself. In a difficult season in their marriage, it is even more important. If not, the turmoil of what’s happening can really take a toll on her in so many different ways.
I wanted to share four things that a wife should continue to do when she finds herself in a very difficult season of marriage.
Embrace the power of prayer.
Prayer has always been an integral part of my life. However, I want to be honest with you. When I learned of my husband’s use of pornography, I felt a flurry of emotions. On any given day — even if I didn’t show it — I was angry, sad, frustrated, and felt very insecure. And it was very hard for me to pray at times.
As I prayed, I asked God to be the ever present help that I needed Him to be. I prayed for God to give me wisdom on what to do. I asked for Him to strengthen and comfort me. Even during the times where I felt down or wanted to lash out at my husband, I took solace in the Lord during quiet times and am allowing Him to heal my hurt. Casting my cares upon Him proved to be the most important thing that I could do for myself while we worked through it. It’s also important to note that I pray for my husband as well.
In difficult times, I take solace in God. He is my refuge and strength. He is an ever present help in times of trouble. Psalm 46:1 ~ He will do the same for you. Share on XOn the days where I just couldn’t pray, I enlisted the help of some strong, Godly friends. You don’t have to tell everyone single person the details of what may be happening. Just ask a sister in Christ to pray. This proved to be instrumental during the days when I struggled to pray and when I needed the extra prayer support.
Make sure you check out the rest of the post HERE on Brina Lynn’s blog.
It is my heart's desire to see women walk in their true power and authority in Jesus Christ. I get the honor of walking that out in my writing, speaking and everyday life.
With a cold latte in hand and my latest read under my arm, I'm usually seen going over math facts, checking out a new STEM project and studying God's Word. In my spare time, you will catch me spending time with family and friends, at live music festivals and on the hunt for a new favorite dessert.
www.angelpenn.com
Thank you for sharing your story. <3
I just wanted you to know – before I head over to read the rest – that I’m praying for you and your husband right now! (We are neighbors at Kelly’s place today.) Bless you for your transparency and heart to help others.
Alyson — sister, you have blessed me. Big time. Thank you so much for your prayers. God is moving!
This was a beautiful post. Thank you for taking the time to leave you insight and great tips.
Prayer is so critical in self-care as a wife. It is the most meaningful use of our time when we are at the end of out rope.
Wow, I didn’t see that coming. The number one thing to do is pray – I’ve underestimated this. Thank you for sharing.
Wow. Such bravery and honesty in this post! Clicking over to finish reading 🙂
So blessed by your vulnerability! Clicking over to read the rest! <3
Dear Angel,
I remember so well the first few days you were at SHUMC, Steve Wood was introduced to you and his words were, I have been waiting for an Angel and now that I am leaving,God send met one! You know you are a rock to all that know you. I can certainly tesifty to that. God only sends us thru these battles so we will be able to help someone when it’s our turn. May the Lord continue to bless you and keep you all…
Blessings and Peace,your friend ny
Thank you so much Nancy! You’ve always been an encouragement and blessing to me my friend. Love you.